Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize