im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
