Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
