Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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