you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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