Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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