your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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