just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
