Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
