i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
