remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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