Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
