I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
