Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
