Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
