I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
