wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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