let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
