i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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