She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
