She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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