OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
