What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
