question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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