How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
