Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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