I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
