Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
try to milk me bitch
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