we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
