Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
