Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
