hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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