Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
