she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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