Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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