IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
