no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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