I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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