they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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