is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize