Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize