I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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