Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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