But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
