Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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