My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
