I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
