I just pynch a tree in the face
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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