I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
