it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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