Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
