Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
