It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
birth control should be required to get into college
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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