Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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