i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think my moral compass just broke
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