I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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