I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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