Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize