I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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