when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
