I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
