Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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