His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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