put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize