He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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